Before reading this please realize that I can't really take credit for original ideas. I know, I know you WANT to give me full credit, but so much of what I am about to write is a compilation of things I've heard, read, thought, discussed, dreamed, made-up, who knows... but here I go (btw, I've probably written all of this before but lucky for you I have little memory).
When kids get into arguments, they fight, get nasty, get over it, and forget it pretty quickly. Why? Why not!? They have games to play, Kool-Aid to drink! Cookies to eat! There is daylight and it's a wastin' who has time to be mad?! What do we do as adults? At least many of us? We hold on to pain and anger like it's our best friend, our most comfortable robe, our blankie.
Over the last year I have learned and am still learning the art of looking forward. We use that term a lot don't we? "I'm looking forward to seeing you!" "I'm looking forward to it!" My question is this: How can we look forward if we're constantly looking backwards? How can we possibly be open to what is in store if we refuse to put down what is already done? How can God place something new and wonderful in our hands if our hands are full of what already happened that we can't change, simply because we refuse to let it go? How? He can't. We can't. We absolutely, positively can not. We. Can. Not.
I have been the chief of sinners when it has come to holding on to things in the past. I cherished my pain and hurt because they were familiar, they kept me company when I was alone, and I already knew what feelings they brought on. I knew them. I knew them well. No surprises. A horrible, stupid comfort zone, but a comfort zone no less. But my God, My God, He has so much more in store for me and I had to learn to let go. I HAD to learn to stop looking back. I had to let go. I had to look forward. What did this mean?
I had to forgive. I had to forgive the situations, the people, everything that had caused hurt and pain in my life. I had to forgive myself for believing I deserved to stay stuck there. I had to forgive myself and know, KNOW that God wanted more for me. I want more for my children, isn't God bigger than we are? Isn't God bigger than our past? Yes. YES. The forgiving process sucks. It's hard. I backslid. A LOT. I still do sometimes. But I can tell you this, there is nothing more freeing than when you finally let go. That's all. You let go. You realize that most people do the best they can, when they can, where they are. You give people a break. You give yourself a break. You relax. You live. You laugh more. You forgive. And you look forward. And you pray. A lot!
I had to start praying for more. Not more things. I don't put my value there, but praying to see more. I pray to see God everyday. I pray to represent God and not myself. I look forward to what He is going to show me everyday. When you are excited to see what miracles He may bring today, you don't have time to think about the screw-ups of yesterday. Remember? You've already forgiven them and learned from them. You may even laugh about them, but they are gone. You learn, you look forward. "Good morning, God! What's on the agenda today?"
You, I, we can not change anything that has happened. That sounds so simplistic doesn't it? We. Can. Not. Change. What. Has. Happened. I typed that like that so you would read it slowly (go back and read it slowly). We absolutely positively can not go backwards. But are constantly going forward. So we look forward. We look forward to making someone's day. We look forward to doing better. We look forward to being kinder, making better choices, choosing happiness and excitement about our lives.
We are human. We are strange and funny creatures. We make mistakes. We make stupid mistakes. But we are lovable. We deserve God's love because God created us. Why would He create something that didn't deserve love? He wouldn't. So stop looking backwards at things that can not be changed and look forward to all the awesomeness that He wants to bring in to your life. He can not put anything in until you get rid of yesterday, that's up to you.
You know looking forward is exciting. I love surprises. God is full of them. This morning I was surprised to hear some serious banging in my house in the chimney. I'm pretty sure my house isn't haunted. I'm pretty sure there's a bird in there. I'm looking forward to it leaving. :)
Peace and blessings,
Becky
June 11, 2013
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