So once again it’s been awhile since I’ve put the crazy thoughts in my head to print. You can thank me for that later. This last year has been a whirlwind, but we knew it would be before we headed into it. I think the initial conversation went something like this:
“Liam, I’m thinking about going back to school.”
“Cool!”
“I need to talk to Mary about it. Remember how she was when I finished at A & M?”
“Yeah… it’s fine, Mom. I’ll be gone, but it’ll keep you busy and take your mind off me going away to college…” (smart kid)
“Mary, I’m thinking about going back to school. Think you can handle that now?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“...Because you won’t be able to drive yet, Liam will be off at college, and it will be a ridiculously crazy year. But just one year. One year of crazy. We can do that, right?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“...Because remember when you were 7 and we were literally leaving my graduation from A & M and you told me you were proud of me but to not EVER go back to school again? Remember that? I don’t want you to bring that up again…”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Ok. Well, I’m doin’ it…”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
Mary’s chatty like that. Liam was full on supportive from the start and I knew he would be because he was leaving to start his own ventures at South, so he wouldn’t be around for all the crazy. Shoot! He welcomed the crazy! Bring it on! He’d be down at South having himself a good ol’ time! Mary was the one I would have to figure out rides for, forget to pick up sometimes, and who would live off Dino-nuggets and mac-and-cheese again for the year. Nevertheless we were all on board that Mom was heading back to school. It didn’t really surprise them. When they were 4 and 7 I started graduate school at night while working during the day. It was a blur and we don’t talk about it a lot, really only because we don’t remember much. Occasionally I’ll find something I wrote while in grad school and think, “Wow! That was really well done! I wrote that???” But I digress….
The year of crazy. Being super excited to get accepted into the Samford Cohort for Educational Leadership, I eagerly awaited our first classes to begin last fall. Walking into our first class and meeting my new twelve classmates felt awkward at first. I won’t pretend that we weren’t all sizing each other up. I’m sure we were. “These people seem really nice and I’m sure we’ll get along just fine” I thought to myself. I remember thinking that exactly, but I also remember thinking there was no way we would end up as close as the other cohort professed to being when they came to talk to us about the classes. How in the world can we all really relate to each other? Our jobs within education were all quite different; everything from coaches, to specialists, to kindergarten teachers, TOSAs, counselor, Gifted Coordinator, high school teachers, elementary teachers… I’m sure I left some out, but you get the idea. We were so varied in our expertise and interests. How could we possibly bond?
It seems we are this way in life sometimes, doesn’t it? We automatically size people up before we ever really know the first thing about them. We decide we have nothing in common with them, or that we are better than they, or even worse than they. We decide upon one look or one quick conversation that we could do their job better or would certainly do it differently. Why would they choose to wear that to work? Don’t they realize that isn’t professional? Maybe we do this with people we see at church, or in our neighborhood, or while we are simply out running errands? “I can’t believe they left the house like that!”, or “Why is she driving like a maniac??” I do have some answers to these in just a minute. Stick with me…
A few years ago I spoke at the Rescue Mission. Afterward, my little sister came up to me and said, “You know I was a little nervous. I didn’t know what you were going to talk about… how you would relate…” I understood what she meant; how I would make that connection to people who may have possibly been through a hell I couldn’t understand. As I look back to when I spoke, it was simply on needing each other. I can relate to that. The parishioners at the mission that evening could relate to that. I was in no way above anyone, I just needed people. So did they. We just do. Period.
Back to sizing people up. We all do that and I’ll admit I’m guilty as well. Understand, I’m not talking about being aware of your surroundings, I’m talking about those judgments that may very well keep us from doing amazing things, meeting amazing people, and growing in ways that at first are uncomfortable (isn’t that always the case???) but in retrospect you cannot imagine having sat complacent. Think back to those things you almost didn’t do because you thought you didn’t fit, and ended up having a ball. Think about the person you almost didn’t talk to who is now your best friend, your mentor, your better half or maybe even your spouse. Think about the person you swore was so aloof, snooty, and disengaged… could it be that they were sad, lonely, awkward… and waiting for someone to talk to them? That woman driving crazy in traffic? That was me last summer when my son was in the E. R. and I had to get to him. It was also me this summer when my daughter was in a fender bender and I was trying not to hyperventilate, just getting to her. I knew they were fine, but I’m a mom. And that woman who “went out looking like that”? Again, could’ve been me, or you, when our kids were sick and we needed that medicine YESTERDAY, or were out of diapers, or worse...COFFEE?!?!
Being immersed in the Samford work with twelve new people proved to be amazing. You really can’t ignore people with whom you are always in class and doing projects. Especially when no one really knows what the project is, but we all have some sort of idea so we make it work. It’s fun to learn who has great handwriting (they get to write on those giant post it notes when it’s group work time), who can draw, who knows law well, who is detail oriented, and who sees things from different angles and analyzes everything to death (me). It’s fun to see who will bring the chocolate, or blow-pop suckers, or sour gummy worms, and who can eat the most small bags of chips in one sitting. Will a guitar be brought? Will we have a sing-a-long? Maybe… you never knew... We formed our inside jokes, those late night group texts, and grew to truly love, support, pray for, and lean on each other.
Throughout the last year our little cohort went through alot together, proving that we didn’t just all get along pretty well, we did, indeed, form a deep, forever friendship (and almost a band). The funny thing is, it wasn’t really just with our cohort, but the one before ours, and likely the one after. I wouldn’t have missed this for the world, but I would have missed this if I had sized them all up, and passed on the opportunity, because I thought I was better, or they were better, or we had nothing in common. I would have missed this… and that’s a sad and scary thought. What all have you missed that someone else may have had to offer?
In our class times together we grew to value our differences, feel safe with being open and honest, and really listen to one another. We were all there to learn from each other and that’s what we all loved. Opening ourselves up to other points of view, to the fact that our way isn’t always the only way (it rarely is), and that we ALL have things to bring to the table isn’t always easy, but oh, my friends, it is so, so worth it.
To my Samford cohort…. My friends…. Carla, Kyle, Megan, Alecia, Yolanda, Tyler, Chad, Lisa, Rebecca, Wendy, Emily, and Lynne… this past year was crazy. It makes me proud to have been in such an excellent program with the best of the best leaders. You make me want to be better, push farther, and take risks. There is no doubt in my mind God knew what we all needed and put us together. And truly, I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.
(PS After carefully analyzing everything, I realized we don’t have a group pic! WHAT??? lol)
Not sizing you up,
Becky
July 30, 2017
