Fearless

I recently posted one of my new favorite songs, Brave, by Sara Barielles. It really plucks a (good) nerve with me and I have to dedicate that to all the younguns out there who are taught to be too cautious with words, actions, etc. I teach my kids to be respectful, but to challenge the thinking they are given. To try new and fun things. To be fearless!

I was fearless as a child. In fact my little sister reminded me this weekend of an event or two that happened when I was little that she had only recently learned. When I was four, Dad bought us a go-kart. I was too short to reach the brake but there was a ‘kill switch’ for me. Do you see where this is going? He took Beth, my older sister and me to the church parking lot so we could cut loose! I did…. Boy, did I! I flew through the parking with the fervor that Dale Earnhardt Jr.  would envy!... straight towards a barbed wire fence. Remember, I had short legs… brake? What brake? Kill switch? What? I was flying! Call it instinct or what, but I thought REALLY fast and I ducked. Instant really cool rush for me, “for sale” on the go-kart the next day. Beth is still mad.

Playing chicken was a popular game when we were kids. Did you ever play that in the pool? You know, you’d be on somebody’s shoulders and try to knock someone else off? Pretty harmless, in the pool, away from the sides, right? Wayne and I played chicken around a dirt track in the neighborhood. Neither of us was chicken. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but I was on a bike, Wayne was on a dirt bike. Again, battle scars proudly worn and played down so Mom wouldn’t know everything. It’s hard to hide a softball size knot on your knee for long.

I think one of the dumbest most fearless things I did as a kid was when Mom left the house and let me know that I was not to go “down the road” on my uber cool pink Huffy. Translate to Becky language “Oh just go a little way, you’re pretty good on the ol’ bike, fast and all, Mom’s not THAT sharp, she’ll never know….” One quarter mile, one car, one upset driver and one crinkled up Huffy later and I see our red Buick creeping up with my mom’s look of horror? Anger? What was that look?  Crap! Maybe she won’t notice the tires are sideways and I’m pushing it. How in the world did I survive??

Fearless. I was fearless because no one had taught me to be afraid. I was fearless because I loved the rush of doing what I wanted to do and figuring out for myself if I could or not. I didn’t die. I had some scratches and scars. I never…broke…a…bone. I was fearless because the world was at my fingertips and I didn’t know any better.

I was fearless in a friend’s tree house once. He was trying to tell me to be careful, but (I was four or five at the time, yes!) as he tried to caution me,  I told him that it was rude to interrupt people when they are speaking (shocker!!!). I’m sure he was contemplating the wisdom of my young words as I fell out of the floor door to the concrete below. I should have been ashamed but I remember proudly jumping out of the car later in the day to show Daddy my stitches! Fearless.

I’ve never been afraid of physical things really. I have gone spelunking down big rocks, hung off cliffs with my ankle wrapped around a bar to get that “great shot” with my camera, snorkeled in the ocean off of Mexico, done a few fun things, nothing out of this world, but fun and exciting.

I think fear sets in when we are taught. Fear is needed to some degree for certain and we need to have fear to a healthy level, but as I am learning to give up emotional fear, I am excited to watch my kids grow up fearless; physically and emotionally. I don’t try to vicariously live through them (ok, sometimes, don’t judge me) but I love watching them have FUN! Life is fun! It’s meant to be lived, experienced! Fear cannot reside where love is and I want love, fun, experience! What about you? What do you fear? Do you realize most of what we spend our time fearing never happens? What a waste of time!

I loved my childhood. My mom probably knew we rolled off our garage roof onto the outdoor furniture cushions. She probably knew we had jumping contests off the shed. She probably knew we did things that if we discussed at the time it would have caused her to have a breakdown. Every now and then we all talk about those times and laugh. I asked her once if she knew I was doing something why didn’t she stop me? She responded, “I knew you’d learn.” I did. Or maybe not. It’s never too late to be fearless! And in case you need to know, the kill switch is on the right.

Fearlessly,

Becky

August 11, 2013