My "Dreaded" Valentine

He was cool looking; dreads, rocked out jeans that hung a little too low for my taste, but he was confident nonetheless. That is until I almost ran over him at the gas station. I was pulling into the MapCo when this nice looking young man was about to step across in front of me and walk inside. I could tell I foiled his plan by the look on his face and the tiny bit of eye-roll as he pivoted and went behind my car. He went in and paid. I parked, got out, and began to pump the gas in my car.

I had made up my mind to say something when the young man came out. There was something about the situation that I wanted to change. I was there in my boots and scarf driving my clean mommy car... suburbia. With all the tension in the world on so many levels, I didn't want to be a stereotype. I feel privileged to live in an area where people are for the most part very kind, considerate, and helpful.

As I was pumping my gas I looked up at 'young man' and simply said "I'm sorry I didn't see you about to cross. I would have stopped." He looked up at me half-surprised and smiled. "Oh, no. It was my fault. I didn't look up. It's all good." He replied. I think he said something it being a beautiful day but I wasn't sure so I didn't reply as I was putting the gas thingie back up. I hopped in my car and said to him, "Have a great day!" to which he said, "Yes, ma'am! You, too! And Happy Valentine's Day!" I said, "Oh yeah! You too! Thanks!"

It was that simple. It may seem so simple that you may not find it blog worthy but I will tell you that young man made my day! He wished me, the crazy white woman who almost hit him a Happy Valentine's Day. I had almost forgotten it WAS Valentine's Day. He was polite, harmless and it was a simple exchange. What felt a little tense at first ended up making my heart so happy.

We were just two people from totally different backgrounds headed in different directions and we had a simple exchange. I'm sure it sounds silly, but if I hadn't said anything, what might he have thought about me? Or I him even? It just makes me realize that there are so many times that when we TAKE the opportunity to have a simple, kind exchange barriers come down, bridges are crossed, and life becomes a little easier. The situation was an opportunity today. I don't always know what God is doing when He presents them to me, but I know that when my heart prompts me to act on something, I feel it and it feels good.

Happy Valentine's Day, by the way, in case you didn't realize it's today

Becky

Use the Crystal...

            Preparing for things is definitely not my strong suit. When I went in to be induced for my first child I poked my head out of the bathroom door and asked the nurse if I should remove ALL of my clothing before putting on the hospital gown. Yes. Really. I had no idea what to expect. I do prepare for some things to some extent but for the most part my ADHD brain looks at the big picture, thinks it’s a great idea, then realizes there a lot of small steps to take to get there and totally checks out. This is kind of funny because I am a detail person in that I notice details to an almost scary degree, but doing them myself to get to the big picture, well, I sometimes forget about those things.

            I have been toying with getting my house on the market soon. Do you realize there are things you need to do to prepare your home for this? Well, apparently you don’t just plop a “For Sale” sign in the yard. I really do want to put my home’s best shingle forward so I’m doing what I can to give it a little face lift. What’s wrong with this? Nothing… if you are a detail kind of person. When you are a person like me you are awaiting the home make-over fairy to come in at night and make it magically deliciously clean and appealing. Hasn’t happened. So… I called Roger.

            Roger is a painter and is highly recommended by the other Douglas sisters. If I can trust anyone it’s the other Douglas sisters. Roger is fantabulous and scours my home and gives me a more-than-fair estimate of a total re-paint of my walls (inside) because we both realize that somewhere in the thirteen years I have lived here, I must have had the insatiable desire to live in a patchwork quilt. With wall colors varying from room to room we decide to prepare my home by easing the eyes of anyone who may want to view this attraction with color continuity.

            Being on a high from taking the first big step in getting my home ready, I decided to begin packing my china cabinet. This would do a couple of things; allow us to move it more easily when time comes for Roger to paint and remind me what is in the china cabinet that is so important that it actually takes up space in the china cabinet.

            As I was preparing the dining area for its upcoming make-over I wasn’t prepared for the emotional ride I was about to take. For thirteen years, no actually for more than twenty years I have seen Royal Dalton in my china cabinet. The set was never completed but it was beautiful. Then there is the Christmas china, only a few pieces, but it beckoned to me as I took it off the shelf and held it in my hands. I wrapped so gently the tea cups and almost apologetically placed them in a box. I have this strange knack for feeling sorry for inanimate objects. This was one of the times I was feeling this way. I wanted to tell these precious china dishes how badly I felt that they had never been used. I looked at and held Mary Abbott’s nesting dolls from… Romania maybe? I don’t remember, my mom got them for her. There were several things from other countries that Mom had brought us, crystal, and a painted giraffe that Mary had painted when she was very young.

            I wasn’t prepared to burst into tears when I wrapped the newspaper around the china and place it in the box. I wasn’t prepared to think to myself that the only times I had touched these fine, beautiful dishes was when I had wrapped them up, or unwrapped them, or occasionally cleaned them and put them back in the cabinet. I wasn’t prepared to go back down memory lane and wonder why on earth we have these beautiful things we never, ever use?

            As newly-engaged star struck lovers we put so much time and effort into picking out the perfect pattern, the perfect settings, the perfect silver, crystal, linens. We place it beautifully in a cabinet and walk by it every day for years.  Waiting. For what?

            I realize many years ago women used fine china and silver more often than now, but why are waiting? Why are we waiting for a better and more special time to use our Grandmother’s apple dishes? Why are we waiting to use the special china or crystal? What are we waiting for? I know it sounds trite but for heaven’s sake what if that special day never comes? I have no big days ahead of me. I am not planning a big event; no big dates, no weddings, no dinner parties. But tonight I decided to break out the crystal. Ok, I did break one ornament but that was by accident.

            I broke out the Waterford. For myself. Because every day that I’m here is pretty special and I don’t see a reason to wait anymore. I registered for these beautiful pieces of china, crystal, etc years ago with high hopes and waited. No more being sad for what I haven’t used. No more wondering why I have unused china.  Granny would love that I am using her apple dishes. I think the coffee will taste better in that anyway.

            No more waiting for something special. Use the crystal. Use the china. Break out everything wonderful that you have been saving for that special day. Make today (or tonight) that special day! Aren’t you worth the Waterford?

Becky Wilkenson

February 3, 2015