As we moved to a new home a few months ago one of the boxes we went through had a ton of pictures in it. Some of the pictures were those of the "Olan Mills" staged type. You know what I'm talking about... In fact, here is one my sister Barb and our friend Teen were mockingly "Olan Mills"ing a few ago...
Please notice the posed shoulders, slightly twisted heads, poised hands and Teens "I'm a bit serious" look compared to Barb's "I'm all smiles" look. If you ever had an Olan Mills portrait taken, you know exactly of what I speak here!
I'll give you a real life Olan Mills portrait to go on, if you haven't. This is my family when we were... younger.
Again, please notice the poised hands, perfectly turned shoulders and tilted chins. Notice the "We're not that serious, and a tiny bit of fun" smiles on my parents faces and then the huge grins on ours because nay nay, our excitement cannot be contained!
Snapshots. These are snapshots. If you go into my or anyone else's Facebook, Instagram, or any other social media you'll see everyone's good hair, thin thigh, "Look at me! I always go mountain biking, sky diving, snow skiing, parasailing while feeding the dolphins" pictures.... Happy snapshots. But they are... snapshots.
I have a serious confession to make. I watch the Superbowl for the commercials. In fact last night I asked my brother-in-law, "Won't there be something with just the commercials on soon?" And he misunderstood and answered, "I'm sure there'll be a commercial-free showing of the game tomorrow or the next day..." I was flattered he thought I was that into the game (although I do love my Cam and I'll get on that tangent in a moment). I said, "Dear brother-in-law (ok, that's not what I really said) I think you misunderstood... I want JUST the commercials.... Just. the. commercials." I do love football, I do. The game was great, it was. But I live for laughter these days and football doesn't bring me a hearty chuckle, just a hearty-tack.
As I reached for my first reliable resource this morning, my phone, to see what the final score of the game was, I was disappointed to see all of the posts about Cam Newton walking off from the post game interview. Before you clock out and go home, please listen, or read. This isn't about Cam. Ok, well, maybe it is, a little. But this is about me. This is about you. This is about everyone.
I love Cammy Cam Cam. I do. Was last night's interview his shining moment? I think we can all agree without a lot of debate that no, it was not. But for heaven's sake can we please not let this snapshot in his life define him? Cam Newton has been known to do a tremendous amount of charity work. If you read up on him, his life, his actions, his usual demeanor, his actions last night were actually pretty out of character for him.
Snapshots. Ok, I'm gonna do it. I'm sorry in advance for the scariness.... here it is....
Please note that I apparently swam with mascara on and had to call my mother to tell her that I was still swimming and would be home soon. I was also modest. And still am. Yes really. And for you young whippersnappers, that was a phone. It connected to the wall with a windy cord. They were called house phones.
Bad snapshot. REALLY bad snapshot. I almost posted a snapshot that was actually a Wilkenson family photo we had taken shortly before our divorce. Not out of anything other than to show that sometimes a snapshot, a minute in time is not exactly what it appears at that time. Out of respect I didn't but I think you get the point.
This is heavy on my mind tonight for many reasons. I see so many posts with people so comfortable in the judgment seat, judging a snapshot of someone else's life. I just have to ask this question, If someone followed you around all day, everyday, with a camera whose shutter was on full speed and picked any given moment to stop that camera, pull that picture... what would they see? We have all had moments that were shining and we were *ON*. Those are great and we want the cameras there! But what about the times when we aren't so great? I can tell you that logging my daughter out of Google and remembering my password just before starting this entry was NOT a shining moment for me. Seriously. I hope the camera wasn't on this thing because honestly, I wasn't nice. We all have those moments when we hope no one is watching or listening because we really really blow it, at least for the moment. And if we aren't just blowing it, we certainly aren't at our best.
But aren't people in high status positions supposed to be role models? Yes. But they are real people. And what better people to teach our children that life isn't always perfect, "I don't always have a smile on my face", and "rainbows and unicorns don't dance around my head" than a real person? Why can't we have grace for others when they have a snapshot taken at their most real moment? Why take that moment and make it their legacy? Is that what we would want for ourselves? Heaven above not me! I cringe when I think of all the moments in my life that could be thrown out there for all the world to see and if those moments became my legacy? Really? No thank you! But that's what social media has done. It's time we use social media to show grace, not judgment.
With cell phone cameras at every event, all day every day, we really do see the best, worst and everything in between. We are so quick to judge what is going on from a snapshot or even a video, but do we really know? I'm pretty sure most of us know better. We love taking the focus off of ourselves though and pointing out fault in others.
Here's a challenge, if you think you aren't immune to putting your best out there and judging others' worst, the next time you get ready to post any pictures or videos of yourself on social media, don't edit anything. Just post the very first pictures you take. Don't retake. Don't edit. Don't photo shop. Or even worse, have your kids take pictures and videos of you and post those. Talk about being real.
The pictures I posted were kind of silly but I think you get the point I'm trying to make. Maybe while we all have moved into a picture perfect social media world, we can truly get back to grace for those moments that aren't so perfect. Those are the real moments anyway. To be honest, those are the moments I would like to get back to. Scary as they are.... mascara running down the face and all.
Photogenically yours,
Becky
February 8, 2016
