Passions and Irks

A friend asked me not too long ago what I'm passionate about, and on the flip-side, what really gets under my skin. I promised Becky P. (she has an awesome name, doesn't she?) that I would get back to her. While she may think time has erased the questions, and perhaps she's forgotten even asking, seeds were planted. I think she knows that. For the last several months these two seemingly simple questions have been rolling around in my (sometimes seemingly simple) head.

Thinking that my passions and my gripes, so to speak, are likely the same as everyone else's kept me from answering too quickly. Not that I mind having a similar mindset as others. Nay nay dear friends. I think we all have the same surface passions; peace and kindness, justice and goodness, respect and happiness, chocolate with no calories. Likewise we may all agree that the things that pluck our nerves are disrespect, hatred, road rage, and only two out of ten check out lanes open at our local Wal-Mart.

Nevertheless, I took some time... a bit of time... like five months of time. I took some time to really reflect on things I'm passionate for and those things that really make me want to jab bamboo shoots under my fingernails (or someone else's). I took time, because my sweet friend said, "I really like getting to know people better" while we were talking. Sometimes allowing others to know us better means taking time know ourselves better. And that, my friends, is ok.

I have to segue here for a minute. This is almost as bad (but not quite) as when someone asks what your hobbies are. Anyone else out there have that blank space fill your brain when asked that question? It's like the worst "loser" feeling in the world. Not that you don't have hobbies, but while you're doing the things, no one says, "Hey! I'm really enjoying this hobby!" You just do the things and have fun. Hobbies? It sounds like you're filling out an online dating profile. And that's a story for another time. Ok, back to my original story.

Learning about ourselves can be a little bit scary. Recently at a conference I heard a speaker talk about how the hardest person we get to know is ourselves, and if we are all honest, it's very hard to look in the mirror and say we like what we see. With that being said, I will be completely honest here with you now. I'm passionate about helping students (and my own kids, who are about grown) be perfectly ok not being perfectly ok. I'm passionate about taking these damn masks off and saying, "No. I'm not alright right now, but I will be." I'm passionate about teaching people that it is entirely acceptable to ask for help if needed; whether it's supplies, clothes, food, or holding a door. I'm passionate about us all being fine with who we are, because who do we think we are that we don't need each other?? I'm passionate about teaching our younger generation that it takes work to see progress and the world owes us nothing; it was here first. I'm passionate about teaching others that our past is not our legacy, we choose to be a victim or victor, and while our childhood may have been less than picture perfect (hello, most are!) there is a time to move forward and grow up. Yes, sometimes that's really hard to do, but there are professionals who have the skill to help empower you to be the best you, you can be... find a licensed professional and ask for help. It's ok.
While we can't help our past, we can choose our future.

I'm passionate about having common sense and what seems to be an art of taking responsibility for our own actions. I'm passionate about caring for the lives we choose to bring into this world, as best we know how. I'm passionate about helping each other out here on this earth because, dear God, how His heart must break to see so many people, His children, refuse to do this. I'm passionate about having fun and being silly because everything you just read (if you're still with me) is pretty heavy and for the love we have to have some fun in this life! Lighten up! Goof off! We need to stop being so angry! Yes, there is a lot to be angry about in this world, but there is so much to love!

I thought there'd be no shortage of things that would make me want to scream until I lose my voice. For those of you who know me well, don't get too excited because y'all know that isn't going to happen! I've never had laryngitis and I never will! I could say one could just reverse the above and there, you'd have it. It's not that simple. I try to find the positive in most things, but there are times, even I, ever the optimist feel my stomach knot up. While I realize I'm guilty of this myself, judgmental people would have to be near the top. A nurse friend of mine said today that in nursing school they are taught they can't judge someone else's level of pain. Similarly, we can not judge someone else's level of need. When a child or family comes to me with a need, I don't judge that. We have no way of knowing what others are going through and as a friend said one time, "Most of us are one paycheck away from needing this help." It breaks my heart when my purpose is to help and I hear others judging the very people I'm helping. I don't have to answer for others, neither does anyone else except that person. Do people take advantage sometimes? Yes. Do we have to be vigilant and aware and cautious? Absolutely! But for the most part, people want to show their best in public and trust a few to say they need help. So, please, don't judge. Unless you want to feel that judgment back on you one day.

Additionally, I am irked at those who have a sense of entitlement. Any educator reading this right now just went, "Ummm-hmmm!" When we raise our kids to think they'll be handed things, not have to work for anything, and by cracky if they don't get what they want in the school or work place, we'll go down there and make sure they get it, we aren't teaching them to work, to communicate, to advocate for themselves. We are teaching them they are entitled. And no one is entitled.

Because of time, I'll put my last in my top three of what really irks me. Bullies. I really can't stand bullies. Not just the bullies like Scott Farkus in A Christmas Story, but grown up bullies, as well. To be honest, I hate the word bully. I don't like people who use their power, size, or position to get what they want, demean others, or just flat out be hateful and mean. If you think of the people who do this, it really comes down to fear on their part; fear of not being liked, respected, fear of losing control, or fear of being figured out. People who are happy and content with who they are, may have a bad day, but they aren't disparaging and mean. Period.

Keeping things short and simple, not my style. Clearly. I probably should have lightened this up a little more with silly things, like, I'm really irked when someone puts a milk or tea jug back in the fridge with approximately a tablespoon of liquid in the container, or when my doorbell rings on a school night, after dark, and I have to crouch down and pretend I'm not home (you do that, too...right?) But change comes when we are honest. If you look back at the biggest things that irk me, they're all based off fear in some way, shape, or form. We judge because it makes us feel better about ourselves (and what would others think if they really saw the real us??), we entitle our children because we fear they'll fail (they will, and they'll get back up and try again), we bully because we're afraid of losing control or status.

So, to my sweet friend who asked... I'm passionate about progression and love. I really hate fear.

I guess I could have kept it short and simple after all (Look, Ma! I kept something short!) :)

Be fearless and love each other,
Becky W.
11/28/2018