Let Me Explain

The Extra Penny

Let me explain....

You’re so vain; you probably think this blog is about you. I open with that because sooo many people have told me that I “explain too much”. I try to throw out too many explanations for why I feel the way I feel or say what I say. Keep reading, I ‘m not through. And by the way, this isn’t about you; I assure you, I have been told this by many, many people.



Talking to a friend of mine recently about why women feel a need to explain something they just said, or why they feel the way feel, or why they did something they just did, I realized I wasn’t alone at all. My friend blurted out “I do that all the time, too!” I was relieved. I do that. I have always done that. Now, it’s time to let you know why I do that and why other people don’t seem to have an appreciation for why.



Educators: If you are an educator you know the years of painstaking training you put forth for minimum pay and minimum respect. Me, too. I taught for many years before going back for my MSED in Counseling. When you are fluttering through the glittery colorful world of educational ….well, education, you have it gloriously beaten into your idealistic skull that everyone is auditory, visual, and/or kinesthetic in their learning and every combination thereof. You also learn to explain things in at least 1 way per student; for example 18 students, you explain things in 18 different ways. Here’s an example: Backtrack 22 years to student teaching; young eager teacher telling even younger more eager kindergarteners to write their ABC’s on a sheet of paper without looking (at the chart b/c they can’t cheat) but you fail to say the parenthetical part. Sooooo, one little boy continues to write terribly off line and horribly crooked. You give him 2 or 3 chances, and THEN you realize that he is writing *without looking* AT ALL!! His eyes are closed. He didn’t understand that the young eager teacher meant “Don’t look at the chart”, he thought she meant “Don’t look AT ALL”. And THAT my friends, was just the beginning of the “Let me explain myself” moments in her life.



So, a counselor friend of mine assures me, as we are discussing this, “But, Becky, this is what we do all day long”. We do. We counsel children. We have to explain things to them all day long. Right or wrong, good or bad, it’s what we have to do. God forbid you allow a kindergartener or even a fourth or fifth grader walk out of your office without understanding the discussion you just had. You explain things. You ask them to explain things. If you counsel people, talk things out, explain things, and make things clear, it’s part of your job. It’s part of who you are every day of every year. It isn’t intended to be demeaning and we don’t want to be demeaned for what we do. In fact, a friend of mine tonight told me he appreciated the candidness of being bold and forthright. Thank you!!!

So, to those friends (and there are many) who think we (and there are many of us) explain too much of ourselves… consider this: We spend our school days with a lot of kids who need things explained in detail, in many different ways. We have to ask THEM to explain things in many different ways. And we really are trying to make a difference by digging deep into people that matter to us. If we matter to you, let us explain ourselves to you and don’t assume, and don’t brush us off. And *you* explain to us, if we matter. I assure you, we have the training to read between the lines. No assumptions... you know what they say when you “assume”…



Ok, I’m finished explaining…. :)



Becky

June 12, 2012