Thanksgiving 2010

Today’s Extra Penny.

I have been thinking, yes really, a lot lately. Actually those of you who know me are aware that I rarely stop thinking and that is sometimes a curse for me. I wish I could stop. But, as Thanksgiving is upon us, it is an obvious time of reflection. We are wise in the ways of being thankful for friends and family, for food and warm beds, for jobs if we are so fortunate to have one right now… and we should be thankful for such things. I have been thinking of the strange events in my life that have molded me into who I am today.
I lost my father when I was only six years old. He was diagnosed with cancer and within a couple of months, he was gone. He was 40. He left behind 3 little girls and a wife who adored him beyond anyone’s comprehension. I have questioned the why’s of it all, but that never brought him back. I don’t think God causes bad things to happen, I think they just happen, and if we trust, He’ll work with them for us and show us things we never thought we would see. That’s where I am. I am not thankful Dad didn’t live, but I am thankful for the strength my mom and sisters and I drew from that trial. I am thankful for the bond we have now because we had no choice. I am thankful for the Sunday nights watching Alice, while eating popcorn and having hot chocolate for dinner, thinking we must be the most special family in the world to do that. We were. I am thankful that Daddy prepared us, within that short time, to keep living and not die also. It was his legacy.
I have had some failed relationships, and I am thankful for what I have brought out of those. I never dreamed I would have the nerve to walk back onto a college campus and register, in my late 30’s, to get another degree. But I did. And if I hadn’t been through those trials and learned that I can pull myself up, I would never have known that I could juggle being a single mom, working full time, and getting that degree I’d wanted for so long. But I did …Because through trials, we find our strength. We find ourselves. With the help of our family and friends of course J I taught my children that we don’t quit.
I read the book The Shack and loved it. Whether you liked it or not, there is a lot to be taken from it. A dear friend of mine in VA used to say “Eat the fish and spit out the bones”… (Thanks, Martha!! J) Meaning, of course, take what you need and leave the rest. But one small part of what I take from this book is that through the things you don’t understand, just be. Just trust. It isn’t about understanding and making sense of it all. It’s about love, relationships, trusting, letting go. It may be much simpler than we try to make it. So for me, ‘she who must make all things make sense’, it was an eye-opener. How does that tie-in to everything else I’ve mentioned? During the storms, it’s very difficult to see that God may be making something incredibly beautiful out of all that rain. Sometimes we see it sooner, sometimes it takes years. Sometimes we may never understand. It’s not our job to understand, but I bet if you look closely at the trials you’ve been through, you’ll see that some pretty wonderful things have come from them you may not have experienced otherwise.
This Thanksgiving I am, strangely, thankful for the trials I have been through. I like seeing the good in things. I want to teach my children to do the same. I like where I am. I also know what it took to get me here. Happy Thanksgiving all!

Becky Wilkenson 2010