With my sweet baby girl's permission, here is my letter to her on her graduation day. Many points are the same as I gave her brother, many differ because they differ. Mary, you're my girl....
Dear Sweet Mary Abbott, May 21, 2019
Can you believe you graduate today? It’s true what they say (whoever they are), “The days are long and the years are short”. I don’t know where the years have gone.
You know the story of your name. It was picked before your dad and I ever met, then I found out it was his mom’s maiden name. You were destined to be in this world and never ever has that been a question.
“She’s cute and all, but where’s Max?” Those were Liam’s first words when he came into the hospital room right after you were born. We didn’t find out what either of you were, but I was sure you were a boy, until the night before I had you. Then I had this strange feeling. I remember exactly where I was in our home on Ambrose. I remember saying to myself, “I think it’s my girl.” And you were. And you always have been. And you always will be.
Girls and their mothers have strange relationships. I learned that the only way a mom can learn that; by raising one. The depth of love I have for you and complexity of having a mini-me to raise…. Well, you gave me a run for the money. While you would observe and learn from your brother, never were you a wallflower. You were always looking for ways to uplift, serve, and encourage others. Rare it must be for a mother to have two children she looks up to as much as I look up to you and your brother.
You’ve always been a “need to know” kid. We would have to let you know what was planned, where we were going, what to expect, etc. The funny thing is, life never really turns out the way we plan and I think you’ve probably seen that. While it seems you have so much in order and figured out, there are still things in this life that you need to remember. Like the letter I wrote your brother, you’ve heard so many things a million times, but I am your mother and I will, until my dying day, remind you of these things, because… You’re my girl…
Sweet Mary Abbott…
- Be aware of your surroundings when you are out in public
- Don’t look down at your phone while walking to your car, hold your head up and look people in the eyes (and have your keys between your fingers)
- Always let someone know where you’re going and when you’ll be back. And when you get back, let someone know
- Never ever go anywhere with someone you don’t know
- Never open your door to a stranger
- Never meet anyone in a place you are unfamiliar
- Remember you always have a home to come back to
- Drive slower than necessary. You’ll notice more
- Get to know people’s stories. Everyone has one
- Be kinder than you have to be. It matters
- Be kind to wait staff, check-out people, service people, and new moms
- Compliment people often but sincerely
- Laugh. A lot. You have such a cute one!
- Smile. A lot. You have a beautiful one! This world needs it
- Take care of your body. It’s the only one you get
- Never drink and drive and NEVER get in the car with a driver that has been drinking or doing drugs
- Do not excuse bad or abusive behavior... (including physical, verbal, or mental). Someone else’s issues do not need to become yours
- If anyone hits you once, they’ll do it again. Violence is never ok. Ever.
- Communication is everything. Don’t assume
- Remember it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it
- Be kind to kids. I know you already are :)
- Be kind to older people
- Call your mom… just because
- Call your mamaw… just because
- Call your dad and grandparents
- Keep your brother as your best friend. I love that you guys have each other.
- Never let anyone come between you and family. If someone loves you, they will want you to remain close to your family
- Likewise, love someone who has a close family and encourages your strong family relationships
- Take time to nurture friendships
- Take time to nurture yourself
- Spend quiet time in nature and appreciate how God works
- Never stop learning
- Try new foods sometimes. It won’t kill you. I promise
- Count your blessings. For real. Have prayers of thanks and gratitude and you’ll see how incredibly blessed you are
- Never go out in pajama bottoms
- Keep yourself groomed nicely. People notice. I promise
- Keep your home clean and tidy so you’re never embarrassed by anyone just stopping by
- Shower before bed. You’ll sleep better
- Pray before bed. You’ll sleep better
- Don’t be attached to digital devices. Take walks. Get fresh air
- Don’t be afraid of a little yard work or to garden. While you nurture Mother Nature, She’s actually nurturing you
- Show gratitude for the smallest things
- Keep blank cards, a pen, and tape in your car for the occasion you may need to leave someone a much needed kind note
- Keep back-up (eye) glasses in your car
- Keep a first aid kit in your car as well as jumper cables and emergency car things
- Know how to change a tire
- Sit up straight
- Use proper grammar
- When you meet someone, look them in the eye, shake their hand (nice firm handshake), and repeat their name. They’ll remember
- Answer the phone in an upbeat manner
- Get up, dress up, show up. Even on the days you don’t feel like it
- :Take a break if you need, but ”We don’t quit”
- Don’t skimp on shoes
- Chase God. Surround yourself with others who chase God
- Buy classic clothes. They’re always in style
- Wear pearls sometimes on a weekday
- Floss. Everyday. I mean it.
- Don’t worry so much about whether people like you. Do what God wants. The right people will love you. Always.
- Come home, please. Often
- Remember your beauty and worth. Never allow anyone to try to make you feel less than
- Remember how very loved you are
In this great big world there are so many who need you, Mary Abbott. I can’t wait to see how you set it on fire with your passion and love! While you will be many things to many others, remember, Sweet Mary Abbott… you will always, always be my girl.
I love you more than you will ever know,
Mom
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