Gargling Peanut Butter

I began teaching nearly 22 years ago in 1992. Yes, I was 7. ha. When I began my career as a new stupid teacher (no, you new teachers are not stupid. I was.) I was amazing! Seriously! At least I thought I was. I worked for an utterly awesome principal who made us all feel as though we were the best teacher in the entire world and we couldn't wait to prove it! We would come in early, stay late, do whatever needed to be done to make sure our babies learned whatever needed to be learned. The school was in a rather needy area, but I have always loved teaching in areas such as this, as the children appreciated every little thing you did for them

One morning Mr. McCorkindale, my principal, and I had a post-observation meeting. He complimented me on how I was so positive with the children and said, "Keep being positive with these kids because you know, children won't be 'good for nothing'". We laughed and I asked him if there was anything I needed to do differently. He replied, "Becky, if you can stand on your head and gargle peanut butter and those kids learn from it, go ahead!" I loved that man! On my way out of his office I turned to him and said, "Mr. McCorkindale? Thank you for always being so positive with your teachers... because we won't be 'good for nothing' either!" 

Well, I never did stand on my head and gargle peanut butter but I did do lots of fun things. Those were the days we did "units". If you've taught long enough you know what I'm talking about. You could do a week on apples. "Apples?" You ask. Yes. You would study Johnny Appleseed, read about apples, write about them, study poetry, measure them, weigh them, graph them, cook with them (using measuring and cookbooks) math, science, etc. You get the picture. You could incorporate everything across the board! We still had a reading, math, science, and social studies curriculum but you would use those as supplements if you wanted. I even did a dinosaur dig my first year in the schoolyard because they were going to tear up the grounds anyway. We used real bones (not dinosaur bones, cattle bones... if you were one of my students, I'm sorry. I lied.)  We learned about paleontology, and fossils. It even made the local news. I taught first grade, by the way. But we all were... wait for it.... creative.

After teaching a few years I moved back home and married and had my own children. I stayed home for a while and after my divorce, was in utter and complete shock when I re-entered the teaching world. There are many reasons for this, but I think the saddest part of this is causing so many passionate teachers to choose other careers. Something is terribly amiss here! Teachers go into teaching because they want to share a passion for learning! I love being around passionate people even if I'm not so passionate about the same things. Passionate people ignite passion in others the same way creative people ignite creativity in others. You can’t KEEP that from happening!

As you may know I am no longer teaching, but am counseling now. I watch some of the most amazing teachers day in and day out struggle to keep up with all the latest "scientific" proof of what works best with teaching our children. I understand that research proves some things, but if you've ever conducted research, you know that research can prove anything you want it to (insert everyone's argument). But here's the thing to me... teaching may be a science to the lawmakers, but it's an art to the teachers and you cannot change that. You cannot take a SCRIPT and make teachers passionate about teaching and make students passionate about learning.

I was (there really is no "was" to this) severely ADD growing up. Yes, I was tested as an adult, there is no joke to it, it's horrible, and it's very real. I have no idea how I managed to get as far as I did in life.... wait... yes, I do. I creatively figured out how I learn best. I didn't have to learn the exact same way as everyone else. And just as we should not expect all children to learn the exact same way, why the hell should we expect all teachers to teach the same way? We are sucking the life out of men and women who truly do not teach, but inspire children to love to read, write, calculate, research history, conduct science experiments and so on and so on! When we watch someone love something we want to love it to! When we hear robotic, monotone, scripted, information presented in a way that even the presenter is reluctant to offer, we don't buy it. Even kids are smart enough to figure this out.

I realize this probably won't change anything. I work for an amazing principal now and my job is different than the teachers to a vast degree, so I can't complain about what I am doing, but I do wish the days of passionate teaching, of "if you can stand on your head and gargle peanut butter and those kids learn from it" were still here. I think we would see more students on fire. I think they would crave information, education, and learning. I think if we all just shared our passion and talent in ways we are gifted, we could so much more easily pull the same out of these children.

To you new young teachers... stay stupid. :) Stay passionate! And thank you for choosing to enlighten our young ones. And if you gargle peanut butter for a lesson, let me know. I want to be there for that one.

Becky Wilkenson

January 25, 2014

Albert Einstein — 'Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.'