"I'm lost. I could use a little help"

“I’m lost. I could use a little help”. I half-smiled as I heard these words from an older gentleman the other day. As I was out perfectly manicuring (ok mowing) our yard I noticed a slow moving car on our street. The gentleman was obviously unsure of where he was and pulled up close to the curb. He motioned for me to cut the engine and because I was always a very good and smart young girl and listened to my mother, I didn’t go UP TO the car, lest I be carried away for good. Anyway, the gentleman had his window down and was looking at a piece of paper. He yelled out to me, “I’m lost. I could use a little help!” He was an older gentleman with a proper southern drawl, driving a dealership car as he was going to pick someone up. He didn’t want to be late.

What struck me about his approach was that he didn’t come to me saying “I’m so sorry to bother you…” or “Could you please help me….,” Or “If it isn’t too much trouble”. He stated two facts: “I’m lost” and “I could use a little help”. He didn’t apologize for interrupting (There was NO need for him to) and he didn’t apologize for being lost. He didn’t excuse himself and he wasn’t embarrassed that he needed help. He simply stated the two facts, that he was lost and he needed help. Why did this strike me as beautifully odd? Because how many of us can do that, honestly? Without beginning with excuses, explanations, apologies, or embarrassment, how many of us can simply say that we are lost and we could use some help? With anything? I loved how this gentleman simply expected that I would give him the direction to get where he needed to be (and I DID, thank you very much).

I’m lost. I think there comes a time when we all feel lost and we don’t really want to use our GPS’s or maybe the road we’re on isn’t even anywhere in the GPS’s system (my own street isn’t on mine! Glad I know where I live!) We hesitate to ask for help. We hem and haw when we need a little guidance, assurance, or even just someone to talk to. Why can’t we be more bold and simply state the facts, “I’m lost. I could use a little help”.

Last spring I thought I was having little mini-seizures because of something I had been through before. I saw my neurologist and he told me I was having anxiety attacks. WHAT?!?! ME?!?!? ANXIETY?!?!? He was amazing and told me that I do what so many other single moms do; but asked who takes care of me? Who do I talk to? I left with my head swirling. Me? Need someone? I knew something had to change because I have two young people who come first in my life and I have to be my best for them. I remember getting home that afternoon and calling a dear, close friend and saying “I need to talk. Can you come over?” She simply replied “I wondered when you were going to ask”.

 See, we really aren’t fooling anyone when we are lost anyway. I know I get that look on my face even when I’m in Wal-Mart; the “Where in the world am I?!” look because of the stimulation overload. When we are going through something in our lives and we do feel lost, those around us aren’t fooled. They know. Most people who really love us may ask once or twice, but if some of you are like me and used to doing so much on your own, you don’t want to appear weak and let others know you have it all under control. I assure you it takes strength to admit you need help. I have learned that the hard way. I would never have told this gentleman he was weak for asking for directions. Why do we tell ourselves that? 

So here is a challenge, when you are truly feeling lost and lonely, or afraid; or when you simply need help with something, keep it very simple. Call someone you know will listen and simply say, “I’m lost. I could use a little help”. I sincerely feel we’ll all be better off if we take the time to do this; lessening our burdens, shortening our pain, and, like this gentleman, getting back on the right road just in time to pick someone else up.

Becky W.

July 28, 2012