The Extra Penny
To Liam and Mary –
Jump
So I am writing my second blog of the day because there is
so much stirring inside of me I need to get out; not just to Liam and Mary, but
to myself and perhaps to someone else who may need this as well.
So I eagerly press ‘accept’ on my cell the other night
because it is my son calling from Florida. He is visiting his cousins and
having a ball. The excitement in his voice tells as much as his stories of the
golf games, his time on the campus at WFU, sailing, etc. Then he says “Oh! Did
I tell you about the alligator we saw while canoeing?” As I stammer with words,
he manages to get his out more articulately. Apparently while the boys were
canoeing they encounter an alligator “as long as our canoe” (about 9’) and “we
could reach out and touch it if we’d wanted to”. My heart raced with words of
warning, but I realized the encounter was over, he was excited, he had seen
something I probably never will, and he was safe. I was almost, well, envious!
Wow! Liam is smart and I trust he didn’t try to pet the thing, but he saw
nature, in nature. He was taken away with it and appreciated the beauty of it.
Earlier this same day I had taken Mary Abbott and a couple
of her friends to Pt. Mallard. She runs up to me and with giddiness exclaims “I
jumped off the 2nd platform!” I was so excited for her, because I
remember taking that same plunge as a young girl. It is terrifying when you
look down and realize how high up you really are. She said she kept her feet
flat and they stung, but it was worth it. I was glad she didn’t ask first for
some strange reason. She was proud. So
was I.
When my sisters and I were kids we did stupid things. The
fact that we are all alive and healthy is still absolutely beyond me. Being
raised in the sleepy town of Trinity we had to invent things to occupy our
time. One of our favorite summer activities was to prop up the cushions from
the outdoor furniture on the ground and roll, yes, do the dead-man’s roll off
of the garage roof onto the cushions. Granted, the drop was only about 6 feet
where we would roll, but still. We also had a designated ‘watcher’ who would
watch for cars in the street while we would skateboard down Resse’s hill with
immense momentum and no ability to stop. You had to really trust the ‘watcher’
and hope they weren’t mad at you for some reason. These are just a couple of
things we have only recently shared with our mom.
My point is I love that my kids have no fear. I used to have
no fear. When I had my car packed to leave for Auburn I told Mom, “I don’t
really remember how to get there”. She said “Just follow everyone else with an
Auburn decal.” I did! Seriously! I got there. I don’t know when I learned fear, but I know
that I am learning from my kids to get back to that and I am so grateful. I
know that the things I regret the most are things I didn’t do. I don’t want
you, Liam and Mary, doing stupid things like drinking and driving or doing
drugs, but I want you to live and love with reckless abandon. I want you to
risk you heart and laugh out loud as much as you can. Don’t worry about things
that probably won’t happen. Just Jump.
I can promise you a few things: I promise you will get hurt;
it may be your heart it may be some bumps, bruises or scrapes, it may be your
feet if you forget to point them going into the water. But it’s worth what you
learn from it. I promise some people will take you for granted and not
understand your good nature. I promise things won’t always work out the way you
plan. But I also promise you this; the giddiness from the jump is worth living
in your heart over and over. I promise your heart will take more pictures than
a camera ever will. I promise that for every person who may not understand or
appreciate you, you will meet dozens and dozens who you will love and who will
love you back. I promise God’s plan is bigger and better than yours anyway.
So please, be careful, look at the alligator but keep your
hands inside the canoe. And point your toes when you jump. But jump!
I love you both,
Mom
P.S. On the days that I’m afraid, remind me to jump, too.
I have often looked at young kids and been envious of their lack of pause when they are doing what some adults would consider risky. Being on a playground and jumping from the equipment or sliding down the slide every way but the intended. Any number of activites that make their parent's heart skip a beat. I've also tried to remember when in my life did I lose that fearlessness, of course having that back may have caused many additional trips to the ER as I got older. Awesome note to your kids and to all of us who need to Jump more often.
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